I Shouldn't Give Up
I have been back in Singapore for more than four months.
Honestly speaking, I feel so out of place at times.
I came back pretty abruptly.
It was out of my plan.
I have to proclaim that, everything was good before I left my previous job.
My teachers are nice, my colleagues are sweet, and my students are lovely.
But why did I leave?
Everything was so fine that I was too complacent.
I didn't make any tremendous progress, and my superior thought that I should take up more challenges. I should step out of my comfort zones to learn new things.
I totally agreed. So I accepted the new plan.
For seven years, I have been protected, and was given so many privileges.
Singapore is my homeland, I should return.
It is time for me to be thirsty again to learn and explore different fields.
Also, to applied what I have learned for the past seven years.
I caught up with couple of old friends when I returned. I do really appreciate that they are there for me, though we have been parted for so long. I made some new friends too, who are so genuine and virtuous too. It is lucky to have them being so supportive and encouraging.
Right now, what's bothering me the most, is job hunting. The process is never smooth sailing.
I used to have superhero dreams, as I was so inspired by my spiritual teachers.
Very often, I aspire to contribute my effort to make the world a better place.
The society must be filled with love and kindness, nobody should suffer.
Yea, people commented I am so naive.
It is impossible to make the world an idealistic place.
Perhaps, I am too naive to dream big.
Look at who I am now? I am nobody.
"Be more realistic! You are holding a certificate from a university in Taiwan!"
"You are not qualified to work in statutory board, or schools under Ministry of Education!"
"You can merely be a Chinese Teacher in private school, or Chinese Tutor."
"Come'on! Don't be too picky at jobs! Look at the cert you are holding. You should be grateful to anyone who are willing to employ you."
"You have been away from Singapore for years, you don't know much about Singapore! You don't know Singaporean well. You will have problems blending into the culture here."
"I supposed your English won't be good, since you have been away to Taiwan."
Yes, those are the honest comments I have been receiving frequently since I came back from Taiwan. Those comments actually came from people whom I thought would be caring. These people came from an organization which I trust a lot. They are people who think they know me, but I only met them once or twice.
At first, I didn't take it to heart. Not until the remarks keep flowing in, I started doubting on my capability. Was I wrong to go Taiwan in the first place? Are the seven years wasted? Or am I lacking in self-knowledge to dream big?
My starting point is low indeed, I won't deny it. Does that matter? I don't mind start working from the ground level. That only means that I have to put in lot more efforts to pursue my dream.
I watched 'Zootopia' a few weeks back. Have you heard of the movie? It is truly awesome! You should go catch the movie if you have yet watch the show. The movie resonates with what I am going through right now.
It is so hilarious, and so inspiring! I love the protagonist Judy Hopps, a female rabbit who dreams to become a police officer when she grows up. Her family and friends didn't really support her. They thought it was just a joke. It is impossible for a rabbit to become a police officer, as female rabbits are stereotype to be weak. That doesn't hold her back. She tries, and tries and tries. She tries again even though she fails. She's so motivating, isn't she?
Getting back to real life, it is time for me to let go such negative thoughts and emotions. I shouldn't be bogged down by the comments.Wallowing in self-pity is time wasting. Being rational, their honest remarks let me know where I should improve on. I need to give myself more time, and I shouldn't give up till I reach the end.
Honestly speaking, I feel so out of place at times.
I came back pretty abruptly.
It was out of my plan.
I have to proclaim that, everything was good before I left my previous job.
My teachers are nice, my colleagues are sweet, and my students are lovely.
But why did I leave?
Everything was so fine that I was too complacent.
I didn't make any tremendous progress, and my superior thought that I should take up more challenges. I should step out of my comfort zones to learn new things.
I totally agreed. So I accepted the new plan.
For seven years, I have been protected, and was given so many privileges.
Singapore is my homeland, I should return.
It is time for me to be thirsty again to learn and explore different fields.
Also, to applied what I have learned for the past seven years.
I caught up with couple of old friends when I returned. I do really appreciate that they are there for me, though we have been parted for so long. I made some new friends too, who are so genuine and virtuous too. It is lucky to have them being so supportive and encouraging.
Right now, what's bothering me the most, is job hunting. The process is never smooth sailing.
I used to have superhero dreams, as I was so inspired by my spiritual teachers.
Very often, I aspire to contribute my effort to make the world a better place.
The society must be filled with love and kindness, nobody should suffer.
Yea, people commented I am so naive.
It is impossible to make the world an idealistic place.
Perhaps, I am too naive to dream big.
Look at who I am now? I am nobody.
"Be more realistic! You are holding a certificate from a university in Taiwan!"
"You are not qualified to work in statutory board, or schools under Ministry of Education!"
"You can merely be a Chinese Teacher in private school, or Chinese Tutor."
"Come'on! Don't be too picky at jobs! Look at the cert you are holding. You should be grateful to anyone who are willing to employ you."
"You have been away from Singapore for years, you don't know much about Singapore! You don't know Singaporean well. You will have problems blending into the culture here."
"I supposed your English won't be good, since you have been away to Taiwan."
Yes, those are the honest comments I have been receiving frequently since I came back from Taiwan. Those comments actually came from people whom I thought would be caring. These people came from an organization which I trust a lot. They are people who think they know me, but I only met them once or twice.
At first, I didn't take it to heart. Not until the remarks keep flowing in, I started doubting on my capability. Was I wrong to go Taiwan in the first place? Are the seven years wasted? Or am I lacking in self-knowledge to dream big?
My starting point is low indeed, I won't deny it. Does that matter? I don't mind start working from the ground level. That only means that I have to put in lot more efforts to pursue my dream.
I watched 'Zootopia' a few weeks back. Have you heard of the movie? It is truly awesome! You should go catch the movie if you have yet watch the show. The movie resonates with what I am going through right now.
It is so hilarious, and so inspiring! I love the protagonist Judy Hopps, a female rabbit who dreams to become a police officer when she grows up. Her family and friends didn't really support her. They thought it was just a joke. It is impossible for a rabbit to become a police officer, as female rabbits are stereotype to be weak. That doesn't hold her back. She tries, and tries and tries. She tries again even though she fails. She's so motivating, isn't she?
Getting back to real life, it is time for me to let go such negative thoughts and emotions. I shouldn't be bogged down by the comments.Wallowing in self-pity is time wasting. Being rational, their honest remarks let me know where I should improve on. I need to give myself more time, and I shouldn't give up till I reach the end.
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